Routines … love them or hate them…still follow them!

The Ganesh festival is round the corner. Across India and maybe even around the world this is one routine that all the Ganesh devotees love. My family celebrates the festival too! The preparations start much before the D-day at our place. Not so much in terms of making the goodies for the feast or the decorations for Ganesh murti. It’s more in terms of setting stage for the expected schedule of events that will unfold for the 2 days that the family meets. The time of puja, the lunchtime, the arguments over breakfast at Mani’s, the menu for Prasad lunch and everything else is absolutely predictable routine. The guest list is predictable, so are the entry and exit lines of the guests. The conversation topics of the close family are the same every year. The close circle enjoys taking pot shots at the distant relatives who drop in for Prasad. The relatives I am sure do the same, once they depart after feasting on the mouth-watering Prasad for lunch. Its absolute routine stuff. Nevertheless, it’s a routine that all of us enjoy! It starts with planning what will be the surprise announcements, which are privately circulated to all members of the family, who then suitably act surprised and happy for the announcements. It ends with all family members promising to plan a picnic so as to improve the bonding and declarations of keeping in touch!

Another interesting routine that we go through - en masse - starts unfolding in month of May. We start speculating the arrival of rains. Invariably the rains are late. Then we worry our heads over the delay and discuss the fall out of global warming. Finally when the rains arrive, we wish that it would stop raining so that life would be free of dirt, grime and rotting garbage. It does not end here. When the rains start receding we get into the famous panic of the lakes and water reservoirs not being full! The beautiful aspect of the rains is the almost routine rainy day picnic to a nearby hill-station, getting soaked to the last fibre and then huddling together for the steaming corn on the cob along with hot bhajiyas and a cup of cup. Wow!

Talking about picnics, I am reminded of the routine that my husband and I go through every 15 days of late. We talk about taking a vacation and the burning need to take time off from routine J Most of my friends also follow the routine of discussing and planning of a holiday for self and family. But none of us convert it into a reality! Most of us are at a stage in our careers where long absence is not possible OR may be dangerous ;). If all that is sorted, then we are faced with the challenge of coinciding the dates when all members can be away from their respective routines. So all in all, we have developed a routine of planning a holiday. Just to break the routine!

Some routines are traditional. For instance, every South Indian girl is enrolled in a dance and singing class as a matter of routine. It’s a given task, never questioned by anyone in the community. I have also seen them loving this routine. Or take the case of a routine enquiry thrown at all newlywed couples. Every couple faces the enquiry about when will they give the good news – read as expecting a baby - irrespective of caste, religion, geography and social status. The only change to this tradition, nowadays is the time when the enquiries start rolling in. In olden days the enquiry would start within 3 months of the marriage. Today the elders of the family are willing to hold their aspirations for as many as 5 years!

Some routines are customary. Like washing feet and covering your head before entering a place of worship, be it anywhere in India.

We are at times not even conscious of some of the routines that each one of us follows. One of them, I think is praying to the Almighty in times of difficulty and crisis. I know a lady who is a complete Atheist. She professes that she does not believe in the concept called God. So much so that when we were traveling to various locations in India, she refused to enter those places of interests i.e. monuments where people also pray and worship. I was surprised by this extreme display of atheist values. Yet, I saw her pray – which she denies – with her hands folded and clasped together, kneeling on the floor and eyes tightly shut, when her sister was supposedly caught in the recent terrorist attacks at a city hospital.

Some routines are fashionable. Like falling in love. Most of the population on this earth goes through motions of love in teens – used to be late teens in my time, but it is early teens these days. This routine is almost always accompanied by the high drama of parents not approving and the kidults (wonder who coined this word!) rebelling, followed by eventual fall out and settling down for more compatible acceptable prospects.

In my professional life, I have seen (and also been a party to!) folks invariably going through the routine of appreciating the previous employer as against the current one. I have observed that for most of us, the previous employer always seems to have the best practices and standard processes. It’s so convenient to forget that almost all of us are equally dissatisfied with the ex-employer while working there, isn’t it?

I use a routine to break the monotonous weekly routine. Confused? Don’t be. I am simply talking about my Saturday routine. I look forward to all Saturdays because it breaks the routine of the weekdays. It gives me respite from dancing to the tune of wall clock on weekdays. However, funnily enough, my Saturdays are also a routine. I get up late, laze in the bed, say bye to the husband, make myself a cup of tea, surf the net till I am hungry, fix a brunch, eat while watching TV and watch TV while dozing, almost reluctantly go into the bedroom and sleep soundly, until being rudely woken up by some caller… and so on and so forth. I simply love this routine Saturday. It’s my day!

I am sure all of us have personal routines that we enjoy. And I am not referring to the mundane routines of waking up, brushing teeth, crapping, having tea, taking shower, getting ready, going to work and so on till we sleep and wake up again. I am sure there are routines unique to every person. Be it a dance routine or an exercise regime or a visit to someone special or a shopping spree in weekend bazaars. It exists!

There is no escaping the routines. Its inevitable just like the seasonal routine of Nature around us. Its as true as the birth and death routine of life. We get bored of the routine and often feel like running away. We seek new things to do. We crave for adventure and challenge. We move to newer pastures. All to break from the routine! But there is no denying that inspite of all the breaks that we may take and new things that we may pursue, we still lapse into routines.

There is a comfort in it, isn’t it?

Perplexed

I feel perplexed, confounded, mystified, confused, at a loss, puzzled, baffled, bewildered or thrown! I feel different at different times or sometimes all this together. And then again I feel this and that too! In general the feeling is totally utterly all the things I said above. Why?

I mean what am I supposed to feel when I realize that random folks on the street are staring at my boobs? And they have various expressions on the face.

Expression one --- “?????”

Expression two – “!!”

Expression three – “@*&%$$^*@”

The above three are the most common discernable and oft repeated ones.

Other than this I feel utterly perplexed that SRK can get the media to dance and gets so much air time.. Whoa! He is on every FM station and every channel and every news paper shouting “Its no big deal”. Yeah! I believe that…

I am at a complete loss when people turn around and ask me, “what’s wrong with me?” Figure it out yourself man. How do I know what’s wrong with you when I don’t see anything right in the first place ... how do I know what’s your idea of right?

I am confused about why the local trains are smelling like Nilgiri(eucalyptus) oil these days and I am thrown by the number of people wearing masks while getting on the train, promptly removing it when asking for a seat and then putting it on while getting off the train.

It baffles me when my co-passenger asks me, “Are you Mulund?” Do I look like a suburban train station? It took me a while to figure out that the question is “Are you getting off at mulund?” which is invariably followed by a booking request for the seat that I occupy…And hold your breath, cause these days it’s also for a standing space on the foot board J

I am bewildered that a man hits a woman while they are walking down the pavement and neither breaks their stride… She says nothing and neither does he! Two minutes later they are sitting on the bench furtively smooching… beyond comprehension. Neither is more than late teens of age... Some passion, huh!

I am mystified that I have not yet learnt the art of talking without stopping to breath. Some folks do it , you see. And they talk for as much as 15 minutes non-stop. Try doing it for 5 minutes by the watch… I am certain most of you will be out of breath ....

I get thrown by folks who are blessed with an immune system as far sense of smell is concerned. These folks almost always decide to relax in an AC theater and start by taking off the shoes! Aaahhh … what a comfort it is ... the stench… Shudders. But that’s ok… for the blessed ones!

I am puzzled … cause I am now feeling great! Sharing does help…

So what if there are going to be more random folks staring with many expressions tomorrow ;) --- at least they get to see the most magnificent pair of twins around ..ha!ha!

The Art of Hosting

My association with hosting people for lunch and dinner goes back to my childhood when my parents would host their friends and relatives at our place. As I grew up I acquired the traits of being a host from the two of them. My husband and I have a fairly large social circle. We both are foodies. We have friends who enjoy food as much as we do. Naturally, the fall out is getting together to enjoy great food in great company. We enjoy hosting at our place. We enjoy being guests as well. It gives us opportunity to smaple different types of food and beverages. And boy have we been to different types of functions! Some memorable, some lip smacking (a Parsi Lagan nu Bhonu will qualify tops for this one), some unforgettable and some immensely forgettable!

One of the most memorable functions that we attended was a traditional wedding lunch. The food was to be served in a “pangat”. This is typically a set-up where the table is laid for a traditional meal and food is served to the guests by a bevy of stewards known as “wadhapi” in Marathi. The table would seat at least 20 people in one row. Another 20 facing them and 20 back to back and so on! 

The fare in these meals would be a set menu. Batata bhaji, Alu chi patal bhaji, Varan-Bhaat-limbu, Masale bhaat with clarified desi ghee(clarified butter), Chutney, bhajji/vade/pakoda and kakadichi koshimbir would be standard. The variation would be in the koshimbir where cucumber would be replaced by tomato. The desserts would vary from Shrikhand to Aamras to Jilebi. The bread would be most likely Puri unless in the recent health conscious scenario it gets replaced by chapatti or phulka. The meal would conclude with a mattha - butter milk variation that is tangy, spicy and sweet, a fitting coolant and digestive to the heavy meal. This is followed by a “Vida” made from beetle leaf stuffed with dry coconut, poppy seeds, beetlenut powder and sweeteners. All this is to be wrapped like a packet in the leaf and is fastened with a clove. The most interesting part of this meal is the warmth and the affection with which the caterer would serve and encourage the guests to eat. He would insist would on serving at least one more jilebi or a dollop of shrikhand. Mind you this would have nothing to do with the cash register as his client (your real host) would have already paid up for X number of guests. The caterer is the host who prides himself in being a master at his craft of dishing out extremely tasty stuff and enjoys feeding people.

The other spectrum of the good food is the gourmet dinners that are served in the banquet halls or restaurants of five star hotels. Food is prepared with great care and pride. The emphasis is on turning out an exotic fair from hors d'œuvre (classic starters) of caviars and cheeses to finishing it with the Desserts of exotic baked and tossed variety. The starters would be served with cocktails. The cocktails would be usually served in the large foyers of the main dining room. A smart Maitre de host (senior captain) would then clink the crystal and announce the dinner by opening the doors to the dining room. Stewards in starched uniforms with tail coats and absolutely white aprons would usher the guests to the table with a benign smile.

The ceremony of devouring food would begin with a soup accompanied by breads of various kinds. These meals include entrée dishes of meats and typically the entrée course extends over three meats - seafood, white meat and red meat. The type of dish is carefully chosen keeping in mind that there is no overlap in the taste that the gourmet enjoys with each course. The master chef would never repeat a sauce or a garnish in a single meal. Each Entrée would be accompanied by a carefully selected wine. The courses would be interspersed with salad depending on what the master chef has planned. Often the salads are a clever trick to buy oneself time to prepare and present the next course of entrée. The reason is to keep the freshness of the meat and sauce. The heavy meat dishes are followed by pasta and vegetable dishes. The meal tends to draw to an end with parfaits (flavoured ice) and mousses. The finale is usually a flamboyant display of desserts cooked a-la-minute. The most favourite here is the classic Crepe Suzette!

Kaustubh and I have been guests at one such lavish dinner and enjoyed the pomp and the show thoroughly. In fact the meal was a 2 and half hour affair with a spectacular dance show thrown in. Thankfully the portions were small and meal was slow with plenty of time between courses allowing us to enjoy the company of those at our table. We were uncomfortable when the dinner ceremony commenced, feeling slightly out of place for that gala dinner, being the youngest couple on the cruise and also not as affluent as the senior members of the entourage. Yet the superb meal and thoroughly enjoyable company of the other two couples at our table has made the experience unforgettable.

In contrast we have also, been subjected to thoroughly forgettable meals. Sometimes these have been social events like weddings and thread-ceremonies. The fare has been a complete hotch-potch of everything . One such menu had mocktails as welcome drinks, farsan and pau bhaji for starters, masale bhaat and veg makhanwala for  main course, bhel and pani puri on the side, hakka noodles and veg -au-gratin for seconds and finally vanilla ice-cream with aamras for dessert! We have since then avoided all events at this particular location catered by a thoroughly confused chef.

I wonder, what kind of planning (if at all) people get into when they host meals? Kau and I often plan the menu ahead of the party. First of all, we enjoy cooking and like to serve from our kitchen. I mean, what is the point of calling someone to your place and then serving them packed food from restaurants? I have nothing against ordering out, but then why not go to the restaurant and save you the messy clean-up after the party. Yes, we do order out for stuff like chapattis or pick an ice-cream or a mayonnaise off the shelf. But that’s where we draw the line. In fact, even when we serve ice-creams we like to do something with it and serve. Sometimes, it’s with fruits, sometimes sandwiched and so on. We generally try out whatever we want to serve in advance and especially, if it is catered out.

When hosting at your residence, its best kept small. Invite only if you feel like hosting. We have been to events where the host is obviously inviting the bunch of suckers out of some compulsion. What would compel them, I do not know! But the fact that the host disappears for personal work while we are left to do the ordering from a close by takeaway tells me to think twice before being conned into a meal experience the next time. Aisa bhi hota hai! The great part of this is that, we order what we want and are not subject to awful selection like what I have narrated above.

Then there are many others who make great hosts. We have had some delicious meals in company of likeminded friends. We have been floored by the sincere efforts put in by the lady of the house with ample support from the spouse. Floored because it’s so difficult to make time to put together a meal in hectic Mumbai life where both husband and wife are working. The meals have been simple day to day fare, well cooked and served lovingly.

So there are meals and melas! We have been to many and guess we will continue to experience and experiment. We make great meals most of the times but also goof up sometimes. Like when we served ourselves and an unsuspecting friend some awful parathas packed from a takeaway. Saving grace was the fact  that we had eggs and bread in house and finished the meal with lots of ice-cream. Whether we are hosts or guests is immaterial, one thing is sure every meal brings a lot of  adventure and fun.

  

Mahabharat

I have been watching the "K Mahabharat" from day one and the one thing that has impressed me is the pace and the jazz of the show. I was impressed by the format in which the serial was launched on to the unsuspecting audience. Whoever, would have thought that the story would begin at a point when duryodhan turns the tables on the Pandavas on that dark night. The episode was shot with lots of dark shades and mind you, I am not refering to the colours that were used. It was the intriguing play of light and shadow and the purposeful hiding of the faces.

I am also happy that we are not subjected to the drab songs sung in hight pitch! No offense to the senior singer from Chopra's time , but I prefer the fast music of this visually appealing Mahabharat.

The outfits are cool and the dudes are a treat to look at. Mac as Ved Vyas was a bit too much! But then, he is super cool and brings in the mad element with him, that I enjoy. I must say even the Yashoda maiyya of old times, can skip the maiyya tag! She sure is ok to look at and wears good outfits(so what if she has only one! After all Manish Malhotra ain't exactly cheap) the head bands are certainly more happening than the lopsided and shoddy crowns of past.

The only one aspect of the serial that takes away the charm is the juvenile special effects! Its ridiculous to call it special effects even. Balaji camp needs to hire some good firm soon. Ekta, hope you will do the needful!

Otherwise "Kahani hamaray Mahabharat ki" Rocks!

Singh is King

The nation is singing the song! And why not? We have seen a triumph yesterday for our nation. The Trust vote has gone in favour of the government. N-deal is about to happen on a fast track!

I do not claim to understand all about the N-deal, but if it means that we are edging towards a No-war strategy, I am happy. If it means that we are setting example for the world to drop weapons and take up peace, I am thrilled to witness it. So kudos – Mr. Singh! I feel comforted by the fact that we are now looking forward to "building" as opposed to "demolishing". It is heartening to see that we are being lead by a man who is intelligent, composed and cool. All said and done, it is time we woke up to reality and look out for educated leadership. I am impressed by the dignity that the leader of "Ayes" displays. Full star to you Mr.PM !

Talking about stars, I am struck by the fact that a certain actor is also riding high on his lucky stars. Hits after hits in last two years, packed stage shows, acting with the best looking heroine of the day and the nation singing his song. Keep it up Akki! Way to go!

Reality Show

Yet another reality show - Halla Bol!

Bachao! Wachwa re wachwa!

There was a time when we wondered if the Humlog and Buniyaad would have any competition. Then came the Saas - bahu sagas. Every channel tried its best to dramatize every permutation and combination of the saas-bahu relationship... As we panted after the twists and turns of the serials, we saw the first Indian Idol emerge.

From then on started the race for reality shows. Today I witnessed yet another show. Anglicized Marathi put me off! Wonder what the die-hard Marathi manoos say to this show?

All I want to say is that, may be the dancers will rescue the show. The only saving grace of show!

Backseat driver

Accha kiya ya bura kiya? I guess , bura kiya cause I am feeling baaaaadddd. But there is always a down side to all good things. It's good to fail once in a while. Why??? Tabhi toh success ki aihmiyat pata chalti hai.

Am I solely responsible for this "failure"? Maybe. Wrong judgement. Could be...Not being in sync with the "leader"? Definetly...

I am thinking, why is it essential for me to find reasons for a project gone wrong. In my mind I know that it has to do with only one person. It has to do with being unable to deal with mediocrity. It has to do with me wanting to be in the driving seat, without a backseat driver…

But why am I feeling baaaaadddd about taking a call? I am being selfish, that's why! Ayn Rand says its good to be selfish. But she doesn't say what to do with emotional attachements that make you feel guilty...

Brings me to another question. Is it possible to do mentoring and guiding without being involved? What relationship should a mentor and mentee have? All my pride at being able to handle varied set of people is in vain, I have realized. In reality, I am only handling myself and my own emotions. I cannot handle all kinds of people. Lots to learn! I am now realizing, how much more I need to learn about influencing skills, patience and self-appreciation. I must acknowledge here that I have also decided to call it quits , cause there have been zero positive strokes since the project started. And there were none after asking for them... shameless , in Indian context. In our society, one should never ask for compliments... "I thought you knew that you are good OR that you are on right track OR that I love you. Isn't it obvious that i am not correcting you n it means you are ok?... blah... blah.... blah"

Shortcut mein bolega toh, backseat driving just not happening, Bhidu! Not for me at least.... Arre apun ke paas driver ka uniform nahi hai yaar... Aur postman ka toh bilkul hi nahi... That set is extinct and I have no plans to join them....

Asel Maza Hari Tar Deyil Khatlyawari

I have not taken leave of my senses. The title is a saying in Marathi. Simply put it means “If God is there for me He will give me (things) on my bed (platter)! This seems to be the most dearly held value of most of the professionals. I see around me a set of people who have complete clarity of purpose and means. Purpose is lots of money and means is a cushioned job. I recently had a very enlightening experience. I was doing recruitment for vacant spots on my team.

I was amazed to meet the young applicants have a clear idea of salary and perquisites that they were entitled to. I said to myself, “Wow! Aren’t I the lucky one? These guys are positively more dashing than my generation”. I felt half the load get off my shoulder and we touched upon the experience and the competencies grid. This is when the bumpy stretch started. Till then, it was like riding a bike on a freshly done up road. All smooth and clearly marked. The moment we stepped on to skill sets, the ride became bumpy. This is when last held designations became the all important word. Having heard the various responses, I am actually planning to apply for entry into Guinness on behalf of the applicants for creating a record, by describing the nature of their job, responsibilities held and areas of competence in ONE sentence. “madam! I a manager!”, “madam! I bees the supravesor!”, “yes, yes I look after all boys!” AND folks they all want salary in excess of 20 grand, petrol money, cell allowance and anything else that can make the job attractive. “If you give me accommodation in Bandra and Andheri I will join you real fast”….. I have lost it by this time and meekly ask – but what about your current responsibility…. I am looked at as if I have come from alien land…. 2 days is all they need to clear out …. ‘N I have on my hands a set of guys who may not be there 2 days later!

My friend in a similar function with a multi-national company tells me she fares no better!

Having lost hopes in fresh recruitment scenario, I decided to turn to the existing set of people on my team. I worked up a beautiful, selling speech about skill enhancement and taking more responsibility and career growth to make the move spicy enough. My HR man short-listed a set of potentials. Armed with my pearls of wisdom, I settled on the most promising ones and called them for a tête-à-tête. After exchanging all the pleasantries, I decided to get on with the agenda and spelt out the opportunity. The first one, was excited n encouraged me to spell out all the requirements. Then he asks me very cutely, “medam, how much salary?” I was depending on my HR skills to convince him to get into training and eventually get promoted after 3 months. Which meant that raise would happen after 3 months. My star performer walked out, never to return!

The mind boggling part is that they all have either salary slips or offer letter giving them all that they ask for.

I am wondering, whether I need to work on my interviewing skills OR just shut up and hire the guys in an “as is where is” deal…..

My worry is that they do not have faintest clue as to what is expected of a supervisor and how does the role change when one is promoted to a managerial level. Yahan toh hisab simple sa hai. They firmly believe that number of years put in is equal to increased volume is equal to promotion is equal increase in salary. The appeal is simple… “ saab pagar pura nahi padta” … I am not joking. It’s just like the last person on the operations chain. One wonders, how is it that the salary is never enough. I ask them, how about spending as much as you can afford. At the end of this conversation they either think that I am kanjoos or conclude that I am not from this age…

May be I am not, cause I believe in the fact that one should earn their laurels and they believe that effort has nothing to do with what they get. It is all about their needs and wants. My economics teacher taught me long ago that wants are unlimited. No surprises then!

I have lately taken to practicing the song “aamdani atthanni kharcha rupaiyya, …..”