कूछ बातें ऐसी ही ....
Responsibility, Commitment, Attachment.
What is about expectations and these words that is alive in me for last 24 hours?
It’s my expectation that one should at least be responsible enough to call in and keep the loved ones informed that one is going to be late. In age of superfast tech savvy gen next this is not very difficult. But then, who am I to make such demands? To each his own! Ha!ha! Ain’t that easier said than done?!
Hmm… thinking it over, this action or inaction has nothing to tech support. It is about being aware or having that sense.
But as I explore deeper within self, I realize that it is my need to adhere to stereotypes in a relationship and expect the same actions that I perform. The stereotype of returning home at a certain time, the stereotype of keeping someone informed when I am late, the stereotype of husband and wife. Its my need to get rid of my worry and anxiety. The expectation that family should dine together once a day, is completely baseless. Why? What if it does not? Those upholding the value system are going to give me long list of things on why family should dine together etc. and they may be right about it all. Fact is that it’s my need for company and complete displeasure of eating alone.
Evolution and change is not limited to physical looks alone, I guess. Man (and woman, too!) would certainly think and develop different values from that of the previous generation. So, here I am, on a see-saw, trying to understand and to seek meaning (with zero success) in something that’s different from my expectations. Yet, unable to let go of the expectations and just accept things for what they are.
At the same time, I am quiet thankful that I still have my sanity and not being a complete stereotype of a wife. A chance remark by my brother has left me thinking about the expectations from husband-wife relationship. He said to me utterly frustrated the other day, “G, this marriage business is too taxing yaar! Since the wedding, I find myself shouldering umpteen responsibilities. I am quiet ok with most but am totally lost and weighed down by the responsibility of keeping my wife entertained.” I can understand why and know for a fact that his frustration is shared by at least 90% of my male friends. Their wives seem to have lost all personal agendas post marriage, so much so there are no personal friends, no independent plans, no girls’ night out. May be a routine job or sometimes not even that. Heaven help! This is one stereotype that I can do without.
Interesting the twists and turns of life. The Hide and seek of expectations being fulfilled and not.
कुछ दिल ने कहा
कुछ भी नाही
कुछ दिल ने सुना
कुछ भी नाही
3 comments:
Hmmmmmmmmm....... every stereotype fulfills atleast one common goal. Eating together - family time. It shouldn't be perfunctory. Its about quality time. I don't understand why women tend to become ambitionless after marriage thereby burdening the guy. Although the ambition could be running a tight sip at home or something challenging not necessarily a job. I know of my friends who kind of went off radar after their marriage. Some come back and claim there friendships after twelve months or so of being married. Some never do. Such is life. I can't know that since I am not in those shoes. When I am I would know.
I don't see why a husband should take up this "cause", and sometimes, it's the wife who has to take this up.
"cause" -- what cause are you talking about Deepa? I am lost...
Post a Comment